Keep warm this coming Winter. at five, clear skies and frost, time to light the fires, no central heating in this gaff Marra, all the air vents have been covered in clingfilm. But Bugs you silly Billy I hear you say. Fear not I’ve got a canary in each room, not only do they sing with angelic clarity but they also fall off their perches when they smell smoke, an old Miners trick. We also keep four sausage dogs, good draught excluders and very tasty when push comes to shove.

Must grab an hour, I’ll be chinstrapped tomorrow else.

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