PPPPPP PICK UP A PEGUIN.

Duck, Goose, Cockrel! Aghhhhhh!
What sort of bird should we have?
Turkey, yeah Turkey.
Bronze? Black? How big? Aghhhh!
Decisions decisions aye, why not save yourself a whole lot of grief and go with my top tip and put an end to this seasonal nightmare.
Go Penguin. A Rock hopper will feed two where as the mighty Emperor will feed the average family and the dog.
No plucking required, just a quick whiz over with the razor and job done, no need to baste, there’s plenty of fat. Your Taters will be golden.
Only one problem, a full-grown Emperor can be over 3ft tall and won’t fit in the average oven.
Comming from the coldest extremes of our planet makes them pretty hard to freeze as well.
So what you waiting for! Get to your nearest Zoo and bag one.
If you are confronted by the security forces just look them in the eye and say:
Penguin, I see no Penguin wibble wibble, have you seen my Horn Bill.
( Don’t forget to put your heels together and salute).