After his hearty breakfast with his young wife, Lye, Ray stepped out of the cottage and into his garden, and he was instantly greeted by all the joys of Spring, Sunshine poured from the azure sky, and birds sang their sweet melodic tunes, he watched as a Blackbird tugged a worm from the lawn, Ray was happy.
With a beaming smile causing his rosy red cheeks to bulge, and using the tip of his Index finger he pushed his straw hat onto the back of his head and set off down the garden path.
He sang as he approached the Honeysuckle (Lonicera japonica) covered archway.
“Zipperdy doo dah….” A Chaffinch sang from the amidst the young fresh leaves as if accompanying Ray, and sharing his good mood.
Ray passed under the archway and stopped to admire the explosion of colour that met his eyes, the magnificent blooms of Rhododendrons and azaleas adorned the hedgerow, Bees stuck their heads into the apple blossoms, enjoying the new season’s richness.
Watched by hidden eyes, Ray walked towards the jewel in his horticultural crown, the veggie patch. Seed packets on sticks, stuck into the soft, finely riddled soil, marked the drills and identified the already emerging occupants.
Close by, a Wren burst into song. its shrill voice reverberating off every leaf, and making Ray jump in surprise
White fleece seemed as if to breath, given the kiss of life by the gentle sirocco.
Onion sets stood in proud ranks awaiting inspection.
The General inspected the Allium cepa, scrutinizing each one for imperfection. All was well until he reached the end of the rear rank. There it was, bold as brass.
Capsella burse pastoris! The gardener’s worst nightmare.
Ray bent down, and mortified by the thought of what this unwelcome arrival could do to his chances of winning first prize at the annual show, using his thumb and fore finger, he extracted it from the soil.
He stood, daydreaming, rolling the unfortunate Capsella burse pastoris until chloroform helped to mix it into a unrecognizeable pulp between his fingers.
Staring down at the broken soil, Ray’s eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped in amazement and disbelief, as a mist like vapour, seeped from the soil, and rose up to form the translucent form of a women.
The sounds of nature were joined by the mystical playing of a harp.
The apportion solidified, causing Ray to remove his hat and hold it close to his chest.Within the golden aurora, was a women of such beauty that all around her paled.
She spoke with a voice so soft that it caressed the soul like silk.
Ray stepped back a pace.
“Don’t be afraid Ray,I mean you no harm.”
Bathing within her golden glow, and transfixed by her beauty Ray spoke.
“Who are you?”
He cleared his throat, and changed his startled tone.
“I mean what’s your name?”
“My name is Flora, and I bring you reward.” She said holding out a small Silver chalice towards Ray.
Reaching out, Ray dropped the mangled mess from between his fingers and took hold of chalice. “What is it?” He asked. Without waiting for an answer Ray lifted the vessel to his lips and tipped back the contents. He felt its silky warmth gently tease his palette, and then he licked his lips and gave an ahhh of satisfaction.
“It is made from drops of the morning dew, blended with my last urine sample.
Its powers will grant you a single wish.”
Ray’s response was instant.
“I wish.” He placed a grubby finger against his bottom lip. “I wish for my Plums to be the size of Pumpkins.”
We know what happens later, don’t we.
4 thoughts on “Capsella burse pastoris. Featuring: Ray Kittup.”
Much appreciate the latest literary contribution with its usual musical quality. Hope you had a great time with the Daniels this week.! Look forward to the next one! Best wishes Roy
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“Hello Roy, as always, a good time was had by all thank you. A top Bloke Micky D, he spoke very highly of you, and told me that you enjoyed my little dabblings with the quill. Even as I write, my thoughts are of Spring and the forthcoming season.
There was a young Lady from Leeds
who swallowed a packet of seeds
in less than an hour
her arse was a flower
and her fanny a patch of weeds.
Take care. Best wishes.
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Ah, the touch of spring is in this piece Mick, with a great depiction of character and a funny punchline 🙂
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Cheers Andrea, glad you enjoyed it, I enjoyed writing it. I’m looking forward to sitting outside and writing a few lines, maybe with a Vin Rouge or a Viking horn of ale, and something on the BBQ.
You take care, soon be time for the first Swallow of Spring to arrive.
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